Grief.

Grief,

It's a chilled wave

Comes in flashes

Stops you in your tracks

Feels like ice prickles in your veins

Snatches your stomach to a raisin

Feels like being shot from within

Who's holding the trigger?

Feels like yourself

Feels like a hand tugging your throat from within

Trying to speak

To let out a heavy yowl

Scared of where it came from

When will it return?

Will I get used to its visit?

Time and time again

I'm not sure

It's dealing with questions left unanswered

It's never, ever having the choice to visit their home

Every home has a unique smell

It's unreal

It's un-true

It's true

It's devastating news

It's why did I meet you just to be left without you

So weird

It's I don't like this

It's I don't think I can handle more of this

It's wanting the noise to stop

It's not wanting to see the pain in my face and hands, in my family

It's feeling hurt

For not being warned

Of how deep it'd go

It's struggling

It's a struggle

To breathe

To make sense of carrying on

Sometimes

Moving on feels disrespectful